Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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