we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
