So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ugly people sure do ruin things
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
