Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What changed your mind?
Being sober
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
