I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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