I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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