I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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