Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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