are you still at the devil's house?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
