i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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