So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
