Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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