Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
