This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
