Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
