I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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