i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
