i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
