remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
