why didn't you poke me back
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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