Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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