That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
