i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
