You really coming over, don't trick.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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