umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
