He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize