Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am naked and annoyed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
