I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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