People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize