me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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