this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
