At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
