its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
