Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
