Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
