well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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