it wasn't lemon gatorade
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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