Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
