so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
