My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
