are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
