textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
