operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize