weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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