Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Rumble strips road head = magical
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
