WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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