she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
