Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
