I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
