We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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