Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
