im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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