Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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