Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
