Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
