why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
