He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
