You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
