i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
