and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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