There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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