fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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