Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
