Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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