What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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