i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
